As a public service (and occasional space filler) I will be recommending (or de-reccommending) useful ways to waste the weekend safe in the arms of our new streaming Master, Netflix. These opinions are strictly those of the author. Despite that, they are correct and if you disagree, you embarrass yourself, go take a shower.

If you come across this list on one of the few remaining viable social media platforms, add a few of your own. We’re trying to create a culture here, Bucky.

1) Marina Abramovic: The Artist Is Present
As is the way of Netflix, we peruse, we add, we often forget why we added, we delete. Life is fast, time is short. I take a wide view and narrow into what fits my particular tastes. Usually documentaries. Arts based where I can find them. Hopefully worthy of staying awake through.

I was completely unprepared for this movie and the longer lasting effects of it, the questions it kicked up in me: what is performance? does art need to be witnessed to be art? Where was I the first couple of decades of my life in that this artist…this art is brand new to me. And intimidating as fuck.

Marina Abramovic is a performance artist and the real deal. Her career is chronicled and often disturbing to watch. Being a performance artist is an interesting gig: you don’t create, in a traditional sense. You make provocative and unforgettable moments for others to witness. Each person watching creates what they will from these acts. The meaning is a strictly personal thing.

And this is really the crux of the movie, since it is about her upcoming art installation which involves a career retrospective (played by a younger set of provocateurs) and the artist herself sitting at a table in a room. And each patron sits across from her for 15 minutes of mute staring.

And somehow…somehow….it is absolutely beautiful. I can’t speak too where…or why this movie touched me so deeply, but it still has me asking the same questions on a loop in my brain. What is performance? Does art need to be witnessed to be art?

Watch this movie.

2) History of the Eagles
I am not an Eagles fan. Things that are ‘laid back’ irritate me. I am New English, I am to clever, to emotionally trickster-ish. Take a dislike of The Eagles….now make it over 2 hours long. What are the chances I would enjoy this?

100%. And for the same reasons mentioned. I don’t like The Eagles. And The Eagles don’t like The Eagles, clearly. Cause they let this movie make its way out of the camera and be viewed. I think they have much money.

A pretty honest take on the career of the laid back Kings of Self Absorbed Almost Rock Music, with more warts than all. Don Henley and Glenn Frey are dicks. Spoiled, over see, once-pretty boys who clearly can give a fuck about whose playing bass or who wrote what song. But I admire them now…I am FORCED too…because they’re take in the doc is such a admission of such greed, you just need to respect it.

The history is there, as noted, up to and past the first consumer raping ‘Hell Freezes Over’ tour. The first of it’s kind but not the last.

The absolute gall to be such a bloated rock star prima donna…and then have it explained in an over two . 5 hour movie? That you need to hear The Eagles music throughout?

God Damn Them. Damn there overly tanned asses. Watch The Movie.

3)Lars and the Real Girl
Just the worst kinda indie sludge. Stupid, fantastical, irritating. Pointless. Dull.
Delete This Movie.