I Know Life’s A Bummer, Baby….

Looking for direction? Advice? Validation?  Fresh out.

Want to take on this day with the appropriate gravitas that would accompany a bad ass Clint Eastwood style space God?  I gotcha.

1) wake up.
2) remember where you are. Look around for clues. Is that your alarm clock? OK, you’re at home.
3) morning ablutions
4) headphone up.
5) find a mirror.  stare onto your own muddy eyes.
6) press play on Monster Magnet ‘s song ‘Bummer’.

(Note: have song cued to play before you get to the mirror. We are creating a small scene, a lil’ delusion. Drama is your friend.)

(Also buy ‘Powertrip’ record.)

7) keep staring while the otherworldly whoops and hollers sink deep into your cortex.  See the scary. Be the scary.
8) when the drums kick in, spin with military precision. Don’t be afraid of flourish.  Again….drama.
9) let your head bob. In time. Let your steps fall in mechanical time.
10) consider that opening line. ‘Your looking for the one who fucked your Mom…’. Consider it again.
11) step outside.
12) look around at all these familiar sights. Now squint.  You can now see the thin plastic seams that run up the back of everything: home and hearth and horizon. And it all becomes clear. Some great force you can not understand has imprisoned you. They created a Carbon copy To keep you transfixed. Immobile.
13) ride into work. …but look around.  There’s seams on every building, stop light,  blade of grass. Let righteous indignation steer the way. This can’t stand.
14) when you get to work,  quit. Walk out forever.
15) make the bastards pay. All of them.


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