The Zen Of Losing A Year

Coming up April 1st (or the 59th Of February) it is a birthday. Coming up on April 1st, my dark lil’ jewel of a record ‘The Zen Of Losing’ came out to universal disinterest, eventually culminating in a ‘Boy, you like reviews. You have an ego problem’ (Noted and diagnosed).

Plus my most successful year as a songwriter by the numbers.  Thank you.

It was all I could ask for. Right?

No, what I asked for was that the Universe send this record to people who need it.  And the Universe complied. I received word from people who understood what this was: an ode to loss, romantic and otherwise. People in the space I was when creating it: surreal and effected days of leaping starving ghosts at every avenue/venue.

In retrospect, I should have asked for a Ferrari AND people to be moved by it.  I am bad at life.

It wasn’t simply the romantic tragic I was working through. It was a time of loss of love…and of The Grimm Generation.

The greatest story ever told will have as it’s antagonist a band. This is my belief. Seriously, wouldn’t even the Bible have a bit more kick if they threw in a ska band? Could even Tolstoy create a character as complex as Phil Ochs? These are things I believe.

And belief matters. You can start an email chain that becomes a conversation that becomes a book, then a band. From your kitchen table. Simply because you believe you can.

It was an act of will, shared by two odd people who fit together….most of the time. (If anyone is in touch with CC, let her know I’m writing about her. We are having a long due friendship hiatus).  And they believed so hard, others believed too.

Belief is a drug, make no mistake. Belief can bring you the stars or the body blow that causes you to see stars. Believe to shallow and you risk to little. Believe too much and everything is at risk. That’s the deal and it has teeth.

Have you risked everything for a dream? Are you still?

I’m scattered. I fear I’m not making sense.

Focus……focus….. the record.

Hard to focus, right? Cause life itself is getting soft around the edges. The dividing lines between right and wrong and left and leaving.  The unthinkable that happens with rapidity, mechanical timing.

February never really ends, does it?

PS: JikiJikiJa is coming. Dates scheduled.


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