See The Boss Pedal, Be The Boss Pedal: An Argument For Digital Effects In Normal Conversation

As a clear sign that I have been driven mad, I have permanently effected the affects of this particular medulla oblogata with my recording within Dante’s digital pit, I have come to the realization that digital effects are not just for music.

Furthermore, I need to make a miracle machine (which is tricky as the dog ate my engineering degree) that puts digital effects where they belong: conversations. This may require we all walk around with permanent earphones on to get the effect (big and fat), but what are words worth? They are worthless unless you can EQ them to a listenable form and then blast them through BIG reverbs.

Effects will be the new punctuation. They will say. When I create the machine. I will be hailed as yet another distraction (like iphones and Instagram and insulin) that is keeping us from becoming the species we should be, in our most perfect and docile form.

Dull. Dullllllll. Im So Bored with your plain, simply heard speeches. Do me a favor…ask me that in Flanger. Phase me, baby.

Consider how it can really emphasize the conversations you are already having?

Don’t you feel cheated when you are angry and yell at someone and it simply dissipates? Try that with a big hall reverb. Now THATS angry and impossible to ignore.

What about ordinary dull conversations with people in the grocery line? Slip in some Digital Delay…and slowly build it, so your words leave your mouth and are suddenly bouncing, bouncing everywhere, every direction, every corner and crevice of the subconcious till theres no option for anyone but to turn away and look at the Star or People Magazine.

Late night and early morning? Need to talk to people but your too wasted to form words? Compression. Everything you say will have more impact, even if that statement is ‘I’m sorry I dropped the ball on the Perkins account.’. Your manager can only admire your honesty, forthrightness and deep sonorous tones. And this is how you get a promotion.

Tryin to explain away a prior bad act? Speak clearly through a Heavy Metal distortion. Raise the gain. Speak slowly and stare directly into their eyes and watch as they get confused, a little sad and go away.

Need a lil pickup in the bedroom? Ladies love a good Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, brother. Get all Issac Hayes and shit and lay it down.

My point being that we short change ourselves in terms of appropriate dramatics. Sometimes it takes a bit o’ science.

The REAL point being this record is killing me.

(dictated but not read in Vibrato)

BOSS-Pedal-Wall

See The Boss Pedal, Be The Boss Pedal: An Argument For Digital Effects In Normal Conversation

Love Is …..Furniture.

Love Is…a many splendored thing.
Love is a cat with sharp claws.
Love is patient and kind.
Love has the same feeling, the same chemical make up as insanity.
Love is worldwide and deeply intimate.
Love is a movement, an excuse, a reason, THE reason.
Love is Hell.
Love is worth the climb.
Love lies.
Love flies under it’s own power.
Love is a word used too much by some and not enough by others ‘I LOVE this yogurt. I care about you as a human’).

And when you boils it down, all the lovely stems and seeds and soil, when you drag it into the practical light of day, Love Is Furniture.

Cause despite what you feel, what you know of you, when your lovers furniture has been removed from your life, your not in Love anymore.

I applied the title of the ‘height of masculine reasoning’ to this, believing its a dude who just pulls up stakes and sends a text from his secret girlfriends house saying ‘keys under the mat’. Is that true? Still not sure.

Follow the Soundcloud link above for a little ditty that boils down all these heady concepts into a 3 minute uke ditty, with the ever needed assist of conspirator Carmen Champagne.

Listen and learn. And if you note your partners stuff is slowly leaving your mutual Love nest, its just a nest now.

ar_logo300dpi

Love Is …..Furniture.